


Auk Words

by Latia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Socks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contains: one (1) overblown description of two (2) socks, two (2) dorks, lots (loads) of snark, no (0) eroticism</p>
            </blockquote>





	Auk Words

"Sooooo....what are  _you_  wearing?"  
  
"Clothes."  
  
A sigh, an almost audible eye-roll. "Come on Rose! You're supposed to try to say it sexy!"  
  
Silence, and then from the receiver comes a breathy, husky whisper:  
  
" _Clothes_."  
  
"Roooo-oooose!" On the other end of the call she's secretly impressed that he manages to make her name two syllables. "Why are you being all difficult?! Isn't being crazy over-detailed supposed to be, like, your thing?"  
  
"My 'thing'?"  
  
"Yeah, your 'thing'! I thought you'd be jumping at the chance to gab about your outfit for like ten minutes!"  
  
"Oh, well, in  _that case_ ," and there is definitely A Tone in there. "If Mister Egbert has been  _so gracious_  as to allow me this generous opportunity...if one were to follow the length of my leg to my foot, they'd be greeted by the revelation of the fact that my right foot is graced by the presence of a single off-white sock. And because I am feeling rebellious, my left foot sports a doppelganger."  
  
"Rose."  
  
"The left one, crumpled by the crushing reality of the realization it can never be right, is slightly bunched around the peak of my anklebone. The fabric has left indentations in my skin that, with a bit of squinting and imagination, spell out the words...'this is stupid.'"  
  
"Yeah, it is, because you're being all ontuse about this!"  
  
"Obtuse."  
  
"Gesundheit. But yeah, come on Rose, can't you at least  _try_  being romantic?"  
  
"Forgive me for the grievous sin of being unable to find romance in jackknifing myself around a phone as I am crushed by five layers of comforter and quilt. Though, I have to say, your attempts at 'romance' earlier distracted me from my impeding suffocation for a minute or so."  
  
"Oh come on, I said I was sorry about that!! Though, um, you should probably get out from under that stuff if you're not getting enough air."  
  
"Duly noted. Though I rather not run the risk of awakening Mother. The fog of merlot can be hard to penetrate, but one can never be too careful."  
  
"..."  
  
"John? Are you still there?"  
  
"Is....is your mom with you?"  
  
"Technically, she's been with me. She passed out on my divan at about 10."  
  
"....your mom is with you"  
  
"Yes."  
  
" _YOUR MOM IS WITH YOU_ "  
  
"Yes, very good John."  
  
" **OH MY GOD** "  
  
"Ow."  
  
"Your mom has been in your room this entire time...and when I was...while I was saying...!!"  
  
"Yes John, you were indeed describing your 'manparts' within earshot of my unconscious mother."  
  
"Oh my GOD!! You are the absolute worst!!!"  
  
"Thank you, I try."  
  
"Urgh...okay, I can't do this anymore. RIP Mood, you lived a good life."  
  
"Not really."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Um...sorry, Rose. I guess this wasn't really a good idea."  
  
"It really wasn't."  
  
"..."  
  
"...but thank you for the effort, at least."  
  
"Um, thanks. Heh. But uh, for...what it's worth, I really miss you."  
  
"I...I know, John. I miss you too."  
  
"Just a couple of months."  
  
"Believe me, I know. The date is circled on my calender. Several times. There even may or may not be a few hearts in there."  
  
"Awww!"  
  
"I know, isn't it just the worst?"  
  
"Well, just know that I can't wait to see your weird, low self-esteem-ed socks in real life."  
  
"And I can't wait to be graced by the arrival of your man--."  
  
"Roooooooose."  
  
"I mean, I can't wait to see you."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"..........I love you."  
  
".........................I love you, t-."  
  
"-r manparts."  
  
"Wait wh-"  
  
 ***click*  
**

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a KM prompt


End file.
